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When the One You Love Wants to Leave [Paperback]

By Donald R. Harvey (Author)
Our Price $ 12.74  
Retail Value $ 14.99  
You Save $ 2.25  (15%)  
Item Number 21622  
Buy New $12.74
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Discontinued - Out Of Print
The manufacturer has discontinued this product and no longer offers it for sale. We are unable to obtain more stock.

Item Specifications...

Pages   224
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 8.96" Width: 5.99" Height: 0.61"
Weight:   0.65 lbs.
Binding  Softcover
Release Date   Feb 1, 1993
Publisher   Baker Pub Group/Baker Books
ISBN  0801043859  
EAN  9780801043857  

Availability  0 units.

Item Description...
Commonsense, Bible-based principles deal with extreme marital crisis. In this new edition, workbook pages are added to help individuals work through feelings.

Buy When the One You Love Wants to Leave by Donald R. Harvey from our Christian Books store - isbn: 9780801043857 & 0801043859

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Product Categories
1Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Marriage   [2332  similar products]
2Books > Subjects > Law > Family & Health Law > Divorce & Separation   [288  similar products]
3Books > Subjects > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living > General   [31520  similar products]
4Books > Subjects > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living > Relationships > Divorce   [117  similar products]
5Books > Subjects > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Protestantism > Self Help   [805  similar products]

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Reviews - What do our customers think?
You must have this book  Jul 12, 2005
I read this book within a week after my wife left me, and it helped me tremendously. Donald Harvey maybe oversimplifies things, but when you are going through the crisis, you want to know why this is happening and what to do. Not all of the "why" questions will ever be answered, but this book helped me make some sense of what was going on, why a spouse leaves and what to do and how to do it. Most of the time if someone leaves a marriage it is the husband and just to make it easier to read he refers to the spouse that has left as "he" or the "husband".

I am afraid that I must disagree with the Rev. Dr. Daniel J.G.G. Block's review of the book. I'm a pastor and I reccomend it to every pastor I know to have for a reference and to give to someone who is facing this crisis. You will never know what it is like unless you've been through it. I've been through it and this book helped me very much.
When the One You Love Wants to Leave  Apr 14, 2005
I received the previous edition of this book when my husband left 13 years ago. It was actually sent to me by my mother-in-law. It was a godsend. It gave me a framework to use to deal with my grief and gave me strength to overcome my emotional impulses and think rationally. I have recommended it over and over again throughout the years to friends and family finding themselves in this situation. I can't recommended it highly enough.
Intellectual Excrement  Jun 21, 2003
Dr. Harvey lives in a world that ceased to exist for most people more than an half a century ago. Reputable sociologists tell us that as men marched off to World War II, women were forced to fill the vacancies in the factories and other segments of the work force. As an unintended consequence, women found their own voices and the Women's Liberation Movements took on an impetus which earlier generations could only dream of. Despite retrenching and conservative dynamics during the 1950s, the rights, strengths, powers, and abilities of women have grown more-or-less steadily ever since. In Western culture, women have found their own voices, and they are no longer extensions of their fathers or husbands.

...unless you are Donald Harvey.

In Dr. Harvey's world, men are powerful actors, who initiate marital dissolutions (i.e.: pages 17, 19, 21, 25, 45, 133, and 187), and women are nothing more than helpless victims, who patiently endure their husbands' abuses (i.e.: pages 17, 55, 172 and 187). Moreover, some of Dr. Harvey's conclusions are intellectually questionable, such as when he labels alcoholism or drug abuse as a choice (i.e.: page 36), despite the inclusion of chemical dependency in the DSM IV, as a disease. Dr. Harvey paints with too wide a brush, indicating that an estranged father's love for his children is a form of manipulation (i.e.: page 141), and warning abandoned wives that their in-laws will always take the side of their missing partner (i.e.: pages 157-158).

Dr. Harvey's book appeals to a certain world-view that has not existed in reality since the 1930s, if it ever existed at all.

This book also follows the formula of man bashing, currently popular in pop-psychology, which may sell books and help to enrich Dr. Harvey, but which fails to meaningfully facilitate the dialogue between the genders.

This book is worse than useless. It is destructive. If you don't own it, don't purchase a copy. If you do own it, it might make good kindling for your fireplace.

A helpful guide to come up with a game plan  Oct 22, 2002
I found Dr. Harvey's book to be helpful. In essence, Dr. Harvey explains the three basic reasons men leave women. My husband's departure seemed to fit neatly into one of those categories. Then Dr. Harvey explains that a woman's three options when her husband chooses to separate are to divorce him immediately, pursue him (often tempting, but rarely successful) or to give him his space with no contact beyond what's absolutely necessary. I'm currently trying the latter approach in the hope that my husband will realize that leaving our home for a studio apartment isn't as peachy as he thinks. I think I'm making a good decision, and this book helped to give me the framework and strength to make it.
not what I expected  Sep 25, 2002
The tone of the book is pretty defeatest from the outset. While there are quotations from the Bible, I found myself wondering if this was really a guide for committed Christians. The author seems to say that in relationships that aren't working, divorce is inevitable, not taking into account the sovereignty of God. If you are interested in saving your marriage, I would suggest Ed Wheat's "Love Life For Every Married Couple." It is firmly routed in Biblical teachings and has a section on how to save your marriage alone.

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