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The Pastor's Family: The Challenges of Family Life and Pastoral Responsibilities [Paperback]

By Harold G Koenig (Author) & Daniel L Langford (Author)
Our Price $ 36.13  
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Item Number 146796  
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Item Specifications...

Pages   198
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 8.4" Width: 6.02" Height: 0.53"
Weight:   0.7 lbs.
Binding  Softcover
Release Date   Oct 7, 1998
Publisher   Routledge
ISBN  0789005859  
EAN  9780789005854  

Availability  0 units.

Item Description...
Describing the difficulties of balancing a career and family life, The Pastor's Family: The Challenges of Family Life and Pastoral Responsibilities is a personal narrative that discusses the all-too-familiar practice of neglecting your family for your job. Pastors will learn the importance of balancing time and attention between their families and religious careers by exploring the problems caused by one pastor's prolonged absence from home. Containing research and first-hand experiences, The Pastor's Family calls for a change in ministry policies that will enable pastors to devote as much time to their families as they do to their congregations.Containing stories and anecdotes from the author, his wife, and his two children, this book offers suggestions on how to improve the physical, emotional, and spiritual health of a pastor's family. The information and insight provided by The Pastor's Family will also help pastors'wives realize that they are not alone in their demanding roles and will help church policymakers discover the need to improve relations between the congregation and the pastor's family. With the hope that the universal problems of pastors'families will be revealed, the author shares with you methods that have helped bring him and his family closer together, including: understanding the expectations of the stereotypical "superpastor" and learning how to set boundaries between family life and careerrealizing that a pastor's family is subject to the same problems and challenges other families face and helping your family deal with this pressurelearning the various definitions of codependency and how this can attribute to the neglect of your familydiscussing the history of abuse of pastors'families through the Bible and famous religious figuresrecognizing the discrimination of a pastor's wife and her sufferings, such as coping with her husband's various psychological challenges and being expected to always help her husband with his careerdiscovering how conflicts can provoke communication, release emotions, identify and clarify problems, and permit individualizationunderstanding why people feel a loss of power or personal rejection when their requests are not grantedEmphasizing the practice of setting boundaries, The Pastor's Family examines ways to promote assertiveness through self-talk and self-differentiation that will help you defeat codependent behavior. This will teach you that it is all right to say "no"-- that it is all right to do things for yourself. From The Pastor's Family, you will learn how to correct the ideology that makes many pastors feel they must honor every parishioner request, despite the effect it will have on his family. Through stories of hardship and personal revelations, this book will help you realize the need for church policy reforms that will allow pastors to be looked upon as humans who have familiesbesides their parishioners.

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More About Harold G Koenig & Daniel L Langford

Register your artisan biography and upload your photo! Langford is a social worker at Crescent City Convalescent Hospital, California; church planter/pastor, American Baptist Churches, USA.

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Reviews - What do our customers think?
An Intimate Portrait and Deep Reflections  Jul 15, 2003
For a taste of this book, read the following paragraph from the author's preface:

"I am a male pastor, and I realize I have neglected my family because I failed to prioritize time with them and for them in my life as a minister. The Pastor's Family is the story of how I was compelled to face this neglect and do something about it."

It is immediately clear that this is not a dispassionate examination of the family life of ministers; it is the story and reflections of one minister told with deep-searching honesty. Langford does not claim to be perfect or know everything, but he has learned from many of his mistakes.

In addition, Langford's wife and two children tell the stories of their experience in their own words. Insights from psychology and scripture are also incorporated into the The Pastor's Family.

The following chapter headings give a sense of the book's scope:
1. "Where Is Dad?" "Where Is My Husband?"
2. The Experiences of Being a Pastor's Wife
3. Who is Going to Make the Coffee?
4. My PK's: Their Stories
5. The Bible, Nature, Human, and Church History: Warnings and Mandates for Family Nurture
6. Treasures in Family Discontent
7. The Pastor and Codependency: Coming to Terms with the Dark Side of the Call to Ministry
8. Setting Boundaries and Learning to Say "No": Benchmarks for Healthy Relationships Between the Pastor, His Family, and the Congregation
9. The Minister's Family Life: A Laboratory of Valuable Experience
10. Spiritual Formation: Giving and Receiving Prayer
11. Setbacks, Heartbreaks, and New Opportunities

Within each chapter, you will find a warts-and-all portrait of the family's experience and what the author has learned over time. The result is sometimes depressing, sometimes uplifting, but always enlightening.

Langford has been a nursing home social worker, public school teacher, and pastor/church planter (Southern Baptist and later American Baptist). Though his theological perspective is fairly different from my own, I am still giving the book five stars because it is simply outstanding.

One final note...the author does not attempt to generalize from his experience to families other than a male minister with a female spouse. However, I suspect that female ministers, same-sex partners, and co-minister partners would find much useful in the book as well.


Write your own review about The Pastor's Family: The Challenges of Family Life and Pastoral Responsibilities

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