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The Mother Factor: How Your Mother's Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life [Paperback]

Our Price $ 16.71  
Retail Value $ 18.99  
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Item Number 415826  
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Item Specifications...

Pages   352
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 0.75" Width: 5" Height: 8.25"
Weight:   0.84 lbs.
Binding  Softcover
Release Date   Mar 18, 2008
Publisher   Prometheus Books
ISBN  1591026075  
EAN  9781591026075  

Availability  2 units.
Availability accurate as of Oct 22, 2016 03:22.
Usually ships within one to two business days from La Vergne, TN.
Orders shipping to an address other than a confirmed Credit Card / Paypal Billing address may incur and additional processing delay.

Item Description...
Whether we acknowledge it or not, our mothers leave an indelible impression on the persons we become. Our ability to function emotionally in relationships -- both personal and professional -- is based on our mothers' deep influence.
In a book full of insights and wisdom based on a career of helping others, acclaimed psychologist Stephan B. Poulter shows how the mother factor can work either for or against us. The key to allowing this important legacy to work for us, says Dr. Poulter, depends on understanding our mother's pervasive influence on our life. He shows that the way we connect emotionally in adult relationships is based on the "style" of our mothers.
Dr. Poulter defines the five major styles of mothering as:
The Perfectionist Mother--whose family must look perfect in every way
The Unpredictable Mother--whose ups and downs can create lifelong anxiety and depression in her son or daughter
The "Me First" Mother--whose children come second or last
The "Best Friend" Mother--who's now in vogue but can wreak havoc
The Complete Mother--who provides guidance and shows compassion to her child.
Although most mothers are a combination of the above, many fit more into one category than others. Even though as adults, we tend to dismiss our past as the past, we do so at risk to ourselves. Only by understanding how our mother's legacy affects us today can we transcend the mysterious anger, anxiety, depression, and shame that we feel, and achieve the kind of relationships we deserve.
Dr. Poulter demonstrates how the internalized "rulebook" we inherit from our mothers is a very powerful force. These unspoken rules govern work, relationships, emotions, separation, and independence. Unless we become aware of the rules that guide our behavior, thoughts, and beliefs, we won't have the ability to make our own choices.
This enlightening book will help readers connect with their past to correct self-defeating behaviors, reach their full emotional potentials, and live happier, more fulfilling lives.

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More About Stephan B. Poulter, Ph.D.

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Robert Brooks, Ph.D., on the faculty of Harvard Medical School, is one of today's leading speakers and authors on the themes of resilience, self-esteem, motivation, and family relationships.

Sam Goldstein, Ph.D., a clinical instructor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Utah and a staff member of the Primary Children's Hospital and the University Neuropsychiatric Institute, is one of today's leading speakers and authorities on child development and neuropsychology.

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Product Categories
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2Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Social Psychology & Interactions   [1015  similar products]
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Reviews - What do our customers think?
Great Book  Oct 20, 2008
Like any great book, this one has its strengths and weaknesses. On the positive side, Poulter has a compassionate tone when addressing the reader; like a good therapist he is an unbiased arbiter who just wants to listen and help. The book has fun fill in the blank sections and self reflection sections, it's like having a private therapy session. He understands. He knows we are all different, listing several different perceptions we would have to our unique mothering styles. I liked the categories, like the perfectionist, who is the kind of woman who will not leave the house without full hair and make-up on. Underneath her shallow exterior, she is masking self-loathe and anxiety, which she passes down to her children. She is over-critical and has impossible standards, which make her children self-loathing, hyper critical of themselves and masking insecurities just like her. Then there is the Me First mom, who values social status and herself above all else. Her kids turn out to be ego strokers for their mom, and narcissistic in their own ways. For example, they may think they are above the law, don't think they have to follow the rules others have to follow and thus commit a lot of crimes, or they may fawn over celebrities because they appear better than others. The unpredictable mom is happy one minute and sad the next. Her children become emotional caretakers for her mood swings and develop into people pleasers and codependents. The Best Friend Mom refuses to discipline or set boundaries for her children, fearing that she will become an authority figure. This is the mom who goes to bars, gets trashed and picks up men with her daughter. She is unconsciously abandoning her children. Her children tend to be resentful and seek mother figures through surrogates in their lives. There are no "monster" mothers in this book (like serial killer moms, etc). The book was intended for a general public, people with more prosaic conflicts with their mothers.
On the negative side, it is a "pop" psychology book. It is not like taking a class, with power point slides and theoretical implications. I am a wonk, so I missed out on that aspect and hungered for him to dig deeper into the human psyche. However, if you hate textbooks and power point slides and want a light but insightful read, then this is the book for you.
brilliant book!  Sep 11, 2008
This is a book everyone who's intersted in self-empowerment/transformation needs to read and study. In reading this book, I gathered more insight than I've ever read anywhere. I became painly aware of how damaging not having a solid mother figure can have on an individual. What I read explains many of the problems I've had/am having today. The most important thing is to realize how one's mother is a template for how we bond and relate to others as adults. After knowing this, we are better equipped to "re-write" or "re-design" this template. This book can be life changing if you use it right.
A mother's 'style' influences adults lifelong  Jul 9, 2008
THE MOTHER FACTOR: HOW YOUR MOTHER'S EMOTIONAL LEGACY IMPACTS YOUR LIFE is based on the author's psychology practice and shows how a mother's influence can work either for or against us. A mother's 'style' influences adults lifelong: THE MOTHER FACTOR illustrates these common styles, from perfectionism and best friends to the 'me first' mother, and illustrates combinations of traits in showing how adults can transcend the underlying messages to achieve mental health. General-interest lending collections will find it a popular read with an eye-catching cover.
Bonding Issues, self-help  May 31, 2008
This is a very intense book. It requires a lot of self-reflection and self-honesty. I found it very helpful for uncovering my "blind- spots" in my relationships with my foster-mothers. It is very worthwhile book to read if you are having trouble with bonding issues in relationships.
Enlightening  Apr 29, 2008
Wow, here's a book that gave me insights I never had before. I've never read a book that's meant so much to me, and I even have to say it's changed my life for the better. The Mother Factor has helped me understand so much about my life that really didn't make sense in the past. Overall I was just blown away. Thank you Dr. Poulter!

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