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Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide [Paperback]

Our Price $ 16.96  
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Item Number 342879  
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Item Specifications...

Pages   220
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 8.98" Width: 6.02" Height: 0.47"
Weight:   0.72 lbs.
Binding  Softcover
Release Date   Mar 15, 2007
Publisher   Jessica Kingsley Publishers
ISBN  184310847X  
EAN  9781843108474  

Availability  0 units.

Item Description...
'This book gives insights into the pain and suffering involved when people are grieving for someone who has committed suicide, but it also offers hope without diminishing the significance of the suffering involved. As such, it has a lot to offer, and is therefore to be welcomed.' - Well-Being 'This book provides deep and valuable insight into the experiences of "suicide survivors" - those who have been left behind by the suicide of friend, family member or loved one.' - Therapy Today 'The personal stories are full of pathos interest and will clarify where the death leaves those left behind. The list of self-help groups is world wide and it will be useful that you can point the bereaved and traumatized in the right direction.' - Accident and Emergency Nursing Journal 'The authors describe powerfully the effect of suicide on survivors and the world of silence, shame, guilt and depression that can follow. Author Christopher Lake is a suicide survivor and co-author Henry Seiden is an experienced therapist and educator. They use sensitive and unambiguous language to provide an understanding of what it is like to live in the wake of suicide and the struggle to make sense of the world. They also look at how survivors might actively respond to their situation, rather than being passive victims. This book should be read by any professional who is likely to come into contact with people affected by suicide.' - Nursing Standard, October 2007 'The book is well written and relevant to both survivors and professionals concerned for the welfare of those bereaved by suicide.' - SOBS (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide) Newsletter 'Silent grief is a book for and about "suicide survivors," defined as people who have experienced the death of a friend or relative through suicide, and for anyone who wants to understand what survivors go through. The book explains the profound, traumatic effect suicide has on individuals bereaved in such circumstances. Using verbatim quotes from survivors it explains how they experience feelings of shame, guilt, anger, doubt, isolation and depression. This book provides good insight into the experience of individuals affected by suicide and can be a useful resource to anybody working with such people - be it prisoners who have lost someone close through suicide or the family of a prisoner following a self-inflicted death in prison. - National Offender Management Service. Safer Custody News. Safer Custody Group. May/June 2007 Silent Grief is a book for and about "suicide survivors" - those who have been left behind by the suicide of a friend or loved one. Author Christopher Lukas is a suicide survivor himself - several members of his family have taken their own lives - and the book draws on his own experiences, as well as those of numerous other suicide survivors. These inspiring personal testimonies are combined with the professional expertise of Dr. Henry M. Seiden, a psychologist and psychoanalytic psychotherapist. The authors present information on common experiences of bereavement, grief reactions and various ways of coping. Their message is that it is important to share one's experience of "survival" with others and they encourage survivors to overcome the perceived stigma or shame associated with suicide and to seek support from self-help groups, psychotherapy, family therapy, Internet support forums or simply a friend or family member who will listen. This revised edition has been fully updated and describes new forms of support including Internet forums, as well as addressing changing societal attitudes to suicide and an increased willingness to discuss suicide publicly. Silent Grief gives valuable insights into living in the wake of suicide and provides useful strategies and support for those affected by a suicide, as well as professionals in the field of psychology, social work, and medicine.

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More About Christopher Lukas & Henry M. Seiden

Register your artisan biography and upload your photo! Christopher Lukas is a 45-year veteran of the public television world in the US, a writer and television producer whose documentaries include films on end-of-life care, psychology, and the arts. Dr. Henry M. Seiden is a psychologist and psychoanalytic psychotherapist, living and practicing in New York. He has taught and supervised in a number of graduate schools, clinics, hospitals, and training institutes in New York City.

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Product Categories
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Reviews - What do our customers think?
Book: Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide  May 18, 2008
Excellent help for me and my family following my fathers suicide. Helped me to understand and not be ridden with guilt.
Compassionate and comforting  May 12, 2008
Those left behind in the wake of a suicide do not need nor cannot take in a mass of psychological jargon, statistical abstracts or pie charts and graphs. What they need is the reassurance that they are not alone, that there is a community of compassionate, sensitive people which will welcome them as they try to absorb and accept their loss. "Silent Grief" provides a real service in helping the reader to sort out his feelings and to begin to make sense of the senseless.

Authors Lukas and Seiden provide many real life examples of the behaviors of suicide survivors. These should be helpful to anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide, no matter how long ago the event occurred, no matter how close emotionally the survivor was to the deceased, even if they were not family.

Although they do not mention Elisabeth Kubler-Ross by name, Lukas and Seiden do detail her famous five stages of grief, (from her 1969 book, "On Death and Dying") and explain that these emotions and behaviors can and often do run deeper in suicide survivors than in those mourning the death, say, of an elderly person who dies of natural causes. The stages of grief and the order in which they are experienced are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance. Not everyone goes through all the stages, regardless of the intensity or nature of their loss. But there are suicide survivors who get stuck in one stage of grief never to leave it, not for years or even decades. "Silent Grief" discusses not only why this happens, but the ways in which the suicide survivor can become "unstuck," and finally achieve acceptance of his loss.

To work one's way through the process of grieving can take years. I lost a brother to suicide in 1995. He was only 31. The authors discuss deep, unrelenting depression as a primary cause of almost every suicide. This my brother experienced for years, and it seemed resistant to treatment. Now, although there are days when I feel his presence acutely, and other days when it seems as if his death just occurred, I did eventually reach the acceptance phase, but it took about six years. (I don't know if this was a long or short period of time, nor even if there are any meaningful yardsticks.)

I don't believe it is the intention of Lukas and Seiden to encourage the reader in accelerating the grieving process. Rather, their many real-life examples make it easier to understand the complexities, the patience and the backtracking that will inevitably mark the road to recovery. It has been said that while a suicide survivor will never get over it, he can eventually get used to it. Only by completing this process can acceptance of this unimaginably painful event be achieved. "Silent Grief" offers hope that one day acceptance can be achieved, and that the process may be arduous, but reaching this vital last stage of the journey does not mean abandoning the memory of or forgetting the one who died.

Those who need to read "Silent Grief" know who they are, but it may be very difficult for them to pick it up. Perhaps a loved one can introduce them to its wisdom, compassion and hope. The survivor needs all of these, and "Silent Grief" is a safe and comforting place to begin.
Good points  Jun 8, 2007
This book is a good idea for anyone going thru the trauma of a suicide
Don't think about it, just get it.  May 13, 2006
Do it for yourself. I didn't know what to do when my teenage son died. People don't understand suicide and it carried so many stigmas I was afraid to talk about it. With no family support and my husband unwilling/unable to discuss this issue I found this book was my companion and consolation. It helped me understand emotions that had me so confused. It gave credence to my own emotions which I tried to hide. No one ever "gets over it", but I did learn to cope with the help of sage advice from books like this. Another healer for me was, "After Suicide", but "Silent Grief" was the best. After such a tragedy trying to focus on reading was really difficult so be patient. I found this book is so easy to follow. It related to me when no one else could.

I hope it helps others just as much as it did me. I realized what is was to "bargain".
I'm Not Alone  May 12, 2000
In 1989, my baby brother committed suicide. It has been said that, "Death is Final!" Death by Suicide never ends for the survivors. I have a wonderful friend, who gave me Silent Grief. It was a constant friend, which walked me through some very heartbreaking times. It is like a friend who holds your hand and lets you know that it is always there, and you are not alone. The way the book is presented is a great help. People are different and need different support. Once you read it, you can pick it up and zero in on the areas that can be of more help to you as an individual. With the help of this book, I've realized that even though the haunting of Clyde's death will be forever with me, life does go on and the pain eases. Thank you to the author for such a great contribution to our world.

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