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No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts Men, Women And Children [Hardcover]

By Paul T. Coughlin (Author) & Paul Coughlin (Author)
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Item Number 20208  
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Item Specifications...

Pages   224
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 8.2" Width: 5.5" Height: 0.6"
Weight:   0.8 lbs.
Binding  Hardcover
Release Date   Sep 30, 2005
ISBN  0764200925  
EAN  9780764200922  

Availability  0 units.

Item Description...
"Recovering nice guy" Paul Coughlin points the way for all men who yearn to live a life of boldness and conviction--like Jesus. Using humorous examples from his own life, powerful and poignant stories, and vivid examples from contemporary culture, Coughlin shows how he learned to say no to the "nice guy" syndrome. After all, Christian nice guys aren't always so nice. In the name of appearing Christian by being agreeable, they can lie, keep secrets, manipulate, duck responsibility, and much more. Using the biblical model of Christ as his example of a real man, Coughlin shows men how to become both gentle and bold. A powerful challenge and a hopeful message that elevates the true biblical model of manhood above prevailing views in the church and contemporary culture, this important book helps men discover who they are in Christ and how to live for Him.

Includes a foreword by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Community Description

No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts Men, Women and Children
by Paul Coughlin

Binding: Hardcover

Recovering "nice guy" Paul Coughlin speaks to every man who is tired of the "Christian nice guy" lifestyle full of passivity, people-pleasing, and living small. He coaches men to be good rather than nice with a powerful message that elevates the true biblical model of manhood above the prevailing views of church and culture.

Men will discover who they are in Christ and how they can be happier--along with those who love and depend on them. Marcos Perez, of New Man magazine, says this book "is a must-read for every Christian man; yes! A provocative approach to exposing the lies that godly men have...adopted in our attempt to be Christlike...a message of hope for godly men with a personality."

Author Information:

Paul Coughlin is an international speaker and hosts a radio talk show in southern Oregon. He is the author of No More Christian Nice Guy, Married But Not Engaged, and No More Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps. Paul has been interviewed by Newsweek, Good Morning America, Nightline, C-SPAN, The New York Times, and The LA Times, among other media. His articles have appeared in many publications, including New Man, Faithworks, Today's Christian, Today's Christian Woman, and Ministries Today. He has also been editor of a weekly newspaper and a radio station program director. Paul is a happily married father, and is a contributor and blogger for The Coughlin family lives in Medford, Oregon.

Please Note, Community Descriptions and notes are submitted by our shoppers, and are not guaranteed for accuracy.

Buy No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts Men, Women And Children by Paul T. Coughlin & Paul Coughlin from our Christian Books store - isbn: 9780764200922 & 0764200925

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More About Paul T. Coughlin & Paul Coughlin

Register your artisan biography and upload your photo! Paul Coughlin ( is an international speaker, teacher, and author who has been interviewed by "Good Morning America" and the "New York Times," among other media outlets. He is the founder of The Protectors, an anti-bullying organization that helps schools and churches throughout North America, as well as internationally. A former Christian Nice Guy, Paul is a happily married father of three. The Coughlin family lives in Oregon.

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Product Categories
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Reviews - What do our customers think?
A Good Step In The Right Direction  Apr 25, 2008
The Christian church in America is just starting to wake up to the need of ministering to men. Started by Promise Keepers and eventually led by John Eldredge and David Murrow, the movement has had its fits and starts, its moments of excess, and the occasional bad exegesis, but nobody can deny that the masculine heart of the Church is in serious trouble.

Paul Coughlin has now stepped up to the plate and offered us his viewpoint and though it is not perfect and though there are some points that seem rather outré, he does the Christian church a good service in making us face what we have done: allowed the culture and zeitgeist of our era affect the Body of Christ instead of allowing the Church to affect the culture.

The Christian church needs men who understand the roles that God has called them to, the roles of a righteous king, a godly warrior, a Christ-centered priest, and a holy lover. Coughlin is a good step in the right direction.
It's about time! What a book!  Mar 30, 2008
I love this book! I've been a Christian for over 30 years, have been involved in "men's ministry" and "marriage ministry" a large part of that time, and have been frustrated how the Christian church in general has marginalized men, and tamed them into denying their true nature.

If you liked Wild at Heart, you'll love No More Christian Nice Guy. It describes the problem from the perspective of Christian culture, whereas Eldgredge described it from our inner nature. Both are necessary, but I find myself returning to the Coughlin book again and again.

I didn't think I needed this book, but I bought it to help counsel others. After all, I'm former law enforcement, a lawyer, a martial arts instructor, I didn't think I was infected with the Nice Guy Disease. But I was, and this book has helped me and others tremendously.

This book does a thorough job of describing and diagnosing the problem. And the last few chapters are all about how to get healed of the disease to please, the passive, withdrawn state of Christian men.

A few sections didn't apply to me, since I had a fairly happy upbringing, and I have a wonderful wife. But the feminization of the church, and how we're taught to sit down, shut up, deny our masculine natures, enjoy the feminine songs about a meek and mild Jesus in a dress, almost drove me crazy and almost drove me out of organized church.

I have given out around 10 copies, and often couple it with Dr. Laura's book on the care and feeding of husbands, and make a joint gift to a Christian couple who is struggling to reconcile what the Bible says, what the churches say, and what their own natures are telling them.

A group of campus ministries brought Paul Coughlin to town, and it was great for the men to hear him speak, but more than that, they heard his message, bought his books, and will be better and stronger for it.

Half the population needs this book. The other half needs to buy it for their men!

Repetitive, Unfounded, Awesome  Feb 8, 2008
This book is not without it's faults. It's annoyingly repetitive. It also doesn't present a very good argument. Coughlin makes blanket statements, and just when he starts to back up his conclusions, he jumps forward and makes another. Poorly researched. Poorly executed.

That being said, I'm going to follow his lead and make a blanket statement, unbacked by concrete details. This book is a life saver. Or maybe life-giver would be a better way to put it, and I'm a stronger man because of it.

Thanks Paul.
Hard Core  Jan 7, 2008
Loved this book. A manly perspective of Christ. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, and this book is useful as well.
Good for churches, not enough for men  Dec 31, 2007
In this book, Coughlin traces how men become "nice," and passive as a result of church and family upbringing. He discusses his own upbringing and show how these men lose out in marriage, sex, and work. While he does a great job about faults of the church, I don't think he does enough of a job of helping men recover.

Coughlin is a radio show host and his purpose in his book is to start a rebellion in churches, so men will stand up. Unfortunately, it is not such a good book for men who want to heal themselves because his suggestions are scattered throughout the book and somewhat vague. If you are a man and want to cure yourself of the Nice Guy syndrome, check out the original book by Dr. Robert Glover. Coughlin (incorrectly) cites Glover several times in the book. He also uses many concepts from Glover's book, but calls them different names. What is sorely lacking point in this book is that it doesn't deal with the issue of sexuality and the single man, a major source of a man's confusion and problems. Coughlin also states that his teenage years were good, but for most nice guys, that's bad experiences lead to worse experiences, sealing the nice guy syndrome into someone.

However, this is the book I wish I could have written because it realistically shows how the church contributes to the problem. He talks about the origins of shame and how church people react. He discusses how women in the church shame men. He points out how Christian businesses can be a trap, rather than a blessing. And he backs up a lot of what the problems in church "niceness" with bible verses, which I liked. While I agreed with his radical Bible verse interpretations, I don't think the typical nice guy would have the courage to challenge that.

In summary, great book on how the church shames men. If you want to know about that, read this. On the other hand, if you are a nice guy frustrated by your love, sex, or work life, I recommend No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover instead, followed by Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

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