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Lying Awake [Hardcover]

By Mark Salzman (Author)
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Item Number 158532  
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Item Specifications...

Pages   192
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 8.33" Width: 6.06" Height: 1.36"
Weight:   0.69 lbs.
Binding  Hardcover
Release Date   Sep 19, 2000
Publisher   Knopf
ISBN  0375406328  
EAN  9780375406324  

Availability  0 units.

Alternate Formats List Price Our Price Item Number Availability
Hardcover $ 22.00 $ 18.70 158532
Paperback $ 15.00 $ 12.75 158488 In Stock
Item Description...
In a Carmelite monastery outside present-day Los Angeles, life goes on in a manner virtually un-changed for centuries. Sister John of the Cross has spent years there in the service of God. And there, she alone experiences visions of such dazzling power and insight that she is looked upon as a spiritual master.

But Sister John's visions are accompanied by powerful headaches, and when a doctor reveals that they may be dangerous, she faces a devastating choice. For if her spiritual gifts are symptoms of illness rather than grace, will a "cure" mean the end of her visions and a soul once again dry and searching?

This is the dilemma at the heart of Mark Salzman's spare, astonishing new novel. With extraordinary dexterity, the author of the best-selling Iron & Silk and The Soloist brings to life the mysterious world of the cloister, giving us a brilliantly realized portrait of women today drawn to the rigors of an ancient religious life, and of one woman's trial at the perilous intersection of faith and reason.

Lying Awake is a novel of remarkable empathy and imagination, and Mark Salzman's most provocative work to date.
"Here, in his third novel and fifth book, Salzman has discovered a rule that permits him to be freed of himself and to discipline his talent. The result is so superior that it is not unreasonable to call this his masterpiece. . . . Lying Awake is stripped to essentials. . . . This story seems almost to be told through him rather than by him. . . . One wonders why this sortie into a discipline carries him to so much higher a plane [than his earlier attempts]. Mother Mary Joseph, the convent's "living rule," would doubtless say, as she says of Sister John, "God showers this one with graces." Could be she'd be right."
-Marian Burkhart, Commonweal
Mark Salzman is the author of Iron & Silk, an account of his two years in China; the novels The Laughing Sutra and The Soloist, which was a finalist for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize for fiction; and Lost in Place, a memoir. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, filmmaker Jessica Yu.
The questions, discussion topics, and suggestions for further reading that follow are intended to enhance your group's reading of Mark Salzman's Lying Awake. We hope they will give you interesting ways to talk about this beautifully crafted novel about a middle-aged nun whose "dark night of the soul" raises profound questions about the nature of faith, identity, and artistic creation.

1. How deliberate and appropriate is the choice of locale of the monastery of Sisters of the Carmel of Saint Joseph in the very heart of Los Angeles rather than in a more pastoral setting deliberate?

  The nuns follow a way of life established for centuries. In what ways, if any, are they allowed to express their individuality?

  Salzman writes "The real penance in cloistered life, most Sisters agreed, was not isolation; it was the impossibility of getting away from people one would not normally have chosen as friends" [p. 21]. What incidents in the book support this statement? How does Salzman "humanize" Sister John and the other nuns--for instance, Sister Bernadette, Sister Anne, and Mother Emmanuel--without undermining his portrait of lives dedicated to serving God?

  What specific roles do these women play in creating the reality of the religious life: the novice Sister Miriam, Mother Mary Joseph, the former prioress, and Sister Teresa, Sister John's novice mistress? What qualities does Sister John share with each of them? What do each of their lives teach her about herself?

  The story of Sister John's past unfolds gradually throughout the novel. Why are some of her memories [for example, pp. 42-43, pp. 61-62 and pp. 86-90] set in italic type, while others aspects of her background are integrated within the narrative? In what ways did her family situation and her attachment to her teacher, Sister Priscilla, influence her decision to become a nun? Is she drawn to the religious life for spiritual reasons alone, or do other aspects of her life play an equally important part?

"For seven years she watched as the cloister got smaller and the silence got biggerÉ and the farther she traveled inward without finding Him, the more aware she became of His absence" [p. 98]. How does Sister John's period of spiritual aridity affect the decision she must later make about her medical condition?

  Is Sister John's interpretation of her mother's visit as "an opportunity to end the relationship once and for all and to get away with the lie" [p. 105] fair? Is her reaction to the way her mother looks and acts surprising? What does her curiosity about her half siblings tell you about her feelings about her mother's choices and her own? Why does she pull off her wimple and veil after the visit [p.107]?

After years of feeling lost, Sister John finally feels God's presence while making preparations for the Easter service [p.115-6]. Why are both the setting and the time of year significant? In what way are the circumstances particularly relevant to the teachings of St. Teresa of Avila?

  Sister John wonders "How . . . do you talk about infused contemplation with a neurologist?" [p.47]. In reacting to her account of her symptoms, as well as when he recommends surgery [p. 68], Dr. Sheppard treats her like any other patient. Why doesn't he respond more directly when she says of her pain "It's a wonderful experience, but it's spiritual, not physical" [p.47]? Later in the book, Sister John compares the hospital to her monastery and imagines how a doctor might characterize the cloistered life [p. 153]. Is her description an accurate reflection of how most people would regard a celibate life devoted to prayer and contemplation? How does Lying Awake inspire or reinforce ideas about or opinions of a religious vocation?

Sister John wonders whether Dostoevsky would have been treated for his epilepsy if he had had the option. In view of his description of his rapture [p. 120], how would you answer this question? Can artistic inspiration be related to mental imbalances, either physical or psychological? For example, how did the mental instability of artists and writers such as Van Gogh, Robert Lowell, and Sylvia Plath influence their work?

  St. Teresa, who suffered epileptic seizures, agonized over how to tell the difference between genuine spiritual experiences and false ones and feared for her own sanity. Is her warning against "seeking illness as a means of cultivating holiness" [p. 121] still relevant today? Why is Sister John's struggle harder in some ways than the difficulties faced by St. Teresa and other Christian mystics of the past?

  Why does the priest say "[W]e're all better off having doubts about the state of our souls than presuming ourselves to be holy [p. 125]? How does this compare to the teachings of most religion and most people's beliefs? To what extent do our behavior and the decisions we make entail making "presumptions" about ourselves and our place in the world?

  "I made a commitment to live by faith, not reason," Sister John writes [p. 119]. In making her decision about surgery, does she rely entirely on faith, or does reason play a role as well?

How does the language and style of Lying Awake differ from most contemporary writing? In what ways do the words of nuns' prayers and Sister John's own poetry enhance the narrative? What details of daily life in the monastery help to establish the themes Salzman is exploring?

July 25
Saint James, Apostle

Sister John of the Cross pushed her blanket aside, dropped to her knees on the floor of her cell, and offered the day to God. Every moment a beginning, every moment an end. The silence of the monastery coaxed her out of herself, calling her to search for something unfelt, unknown, and unimagined. Her spirit responded to this call with an algorithm of longing. Every moment of being contained an indivisible -- and invisible -- denominator.

She lit a vigil candle and faced the plain wooden cross on the wall. It had no corpus because, in spirit, she belonged there, taking Christ's place and helping relieve his burden.Suffering borne by two is nearly joy. Fighting the stiffness in her limbs, she lifted her brown scapular, symbol of the yoke of Christ, and began the clothing prayer:Clothe me, O Lord, with the armor of salvation. She let the robe's two panels drop from her shoulders to the hemline, back and front, then stepped into the rough sandals that identified her as a member of the Order of Discalced -- shoeless -- Carmelites, founded by Saint Teresa of Avila in the sixteenth century. Purify my mind and heart. Empty me of my own will, that I may be filled with Yours. A linen wimple, with the black veil of Profession sewn to its crown, left only the oval of her face exposed. Mirrors were not permitted in the cloister, but after twenty-eight years of carrying out this ritual every morning, she could see with her fingers as she adjusted the layers of fabric to a pleasing symmetry.Let these clothes remind me of my consecration to this life of enclosure, silence, and solitude. She sat at her desk to read through the poems she had written the night before -- keeping her up until past midnight -- and made a few changes. Then she made her bed and carried her washbasin out to the dormitory bathroom. She walked quietly so as not to wake her Sisters, who would not stir for at least another hour. The night light at the end of the hall was shaded with a transparency of a rose window; its reflection on the polished wood floor fanned out like a peacock's tail.

As Sister John emptied the basin into the sink, taking care to avoid splashing, the motion of the water as it spiraled toward the drain triggered a spell of vertigo. It was a welcome sensation; she experienced it as a rising from within, as if her spirit could no longer be contained by her body.Wherever You lead me, I will follow. Instead of going to the choir to wait for the others, she returned to her cell, knelt down on the floor again, and unfocused her eyes.Blessed is that servant whom the master finds awake when he comes. Pure awareness stripped her of everything. She became an ember carried upward by the heat of an invisible flame. Higher and higher she rose, away from all she knew. Powerless to save herself, she drifted up toward infinity until the vacuum sucked the feeble light out of her.

·   ·   ·

A darkness so pure it glistened, then out of that darkness,


More luminous than any sun, transcending visibility, the flare consumed everything, it lit up all of existence. In this radiance she could see forever, and everywhere she looked, she saw God's love. As soon as she could move again, she opened her notebook and began writing.

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More About Mark Salzman

Register your artisan biography and upload your photo! Mark Salzman is the author of Iron & Silk, an account of his two years in China; Lost in Place, a memoir; and the novels The Laughing Sutra, The Soloist, and Lying Awake. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, the filmmaker Jessica Yu, and their daughter, Ava.

From the Hardcover edition.

Mark Salzman currently resides in Los Angeles, in the state of California.

Mark Salzman has published or released items in the following series...

  1. Vintage Contemporaries
  2. Vintage Departures

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Reviews - What do our customers think?
buddhist attack disguised as a novel  Oct 27, 2007
Loved Mark's video iron and silk. Beautiful portrayal of the chinese people, of which he obviously had first hand knowledge. This book: so many errors and obvious mistakes of his portrayal, that I know he would have done better with the setting in a buddhist monastery, inline with the author's belief, and building the plot with a Gung-Fu practicing monk, who struggles with ecstatic visions while becoming an empty cup, and fulfilled in his path to become "nothing".

To try to force this against the historically accurate Christian doctrines and make a nun come to a a realization of buddha, disguised as Catholic faith, just made no sense. Sorry Mark. Either spend time with an Orthodox Christian or Orthodox Catholic monk understanding the eastern roots of the faith of your protagonists, or spend some time with Chinese believers struggling in Taiwan or Mainland China, and have an honest portrayal of your subjects or simply use what you know to promote buddhism in a buddhist setting next time and you'll come out at least somewhat realistic with your obvious God given literary strengths, whether you use it to honor Him with it or Not.
a wonderful exploration of faith and forgiveness  Oct 3, 2007
I'm a huge Salzman fan and it's hard to pick a favorite. But if the subject matter seems abstruse, be reassured that this gem packs a lot of interest and yes, entertainment between the covers. Spoiler alert, plot give-away to follow. Readers are asked to consider if the spiritual visions of a nun are diminished because they are caused by a small tumor that gives her epileptic fits. As we follow Sister John's crisis of faith, Salzman's big-hearted depiction of spirituality inspires us think twice about what we "know."

Weaving in and out of the narrative are vignettes in Sister John's life that we can all identify with. "The real penance in cloistered life, most Sisters agreed, was not isolation; it was the impossibility of getting away from people one would not normally have chosen as friends."

While the author surely didn't don a habit for his research, this fresh-eyed look at life in a cloister and the very human struggles of its inhabitants feels authentic. Highly recommended.
A small gem of a book  May 17, 2007
In Lying Awake Mark Salzman has written a gem of a book about a nun in a monastery just outside of modern day Los Angeles who has been seeing visions and interpreting those visions in inspirational poetry that--in many ways--is a vital cog in keeping the monastery up and running. This "blessing" that Sister John of the Cross has experienced begins to become ever more frequent and intense to the point where fear for her health rises among her fellow sisters. When she is examined and found to have an epileptic disease that requires surgery she is faced with the choice of giving up her cherished "visions"--and her health--or being treated and gong back to "normal". Placed within the context of the introspective life of a monastery--and juxtaposed skillfully in a series of vignettes that reveal and debate various aspects of the "visionary" lives and works of earlier Christian notables--concepts such as "normal" take on new and heightened meaning.

Salzman is a skilled and masterful writer. The book was both challenging and engrossing. The intertwining of past and present is skillfully rendered. The book is way short on plot but the characters are--for the most part--beautifully rendered. If I have any complaint it would be that the book could have benefited from a bit more biographical information on the various characters--several key cast members get short shrift on that score--yet it is a minor complaint. At a 170 odd pages--with many word free pages of woodcuts and whatnot between the many chapters, this is a short yet intense and moving read. A true gem of a book.
A story of faith  Nov 4, 2006
When Sister John of the Cross realizes her spiritual visions -- which have come after years of doubting her vocation -- are a result of epilepsy, she must decide whether to treat the condition and possibly lose her close relationship with God, or refuse treatment and risk her life.

In this spare novel, Salzman digs deep into questions of faith, humanity, sisterhood, and religious sacrifice. With not an extra word he addresses Sister John's dilemma. The reader doesn't know until the very end what Sister John will decide, and what the results will be.

A wonderful look at the true meaning of faith.
Thoughtful and moving  Oct 31, 2006
This is one beautifully written book and it is thought-provoking. It still lingers in your mind after the last page has been turned and you find yourself questioning the plot of this book as well as remembering the lyricalness of Salzman's words. It is a simple volume that packs a punch with its thoughtfulness, and simple statements. It offers up questions of faith and what it means to live in a cloistered world. Instead of it sounding stifling, it sounds liberating and sometimes, peaceful as well as tiring and hard. This book focuses on Sister John and her journey of faith.

Sister John was a young woman when she joined the convent and throughout her journey, she tries to find the meaning of faith, servitude to God and what it means to live among very strict rules. Then all of a sudden, she starts experiencing a new spiritual connection to God and finds that she needs to write all the time. Her poetry sells and brings a modest sum of cash to the convent to meet their needs. More importantly to her, she finally feels closer to God and feels the peace invading her bones. Sister John is deliriously joyous to have found the meaning of her life.

Or has she?

Cruelly and suddenly, she discovers her blinding headaches were the cause of a tiny tumor and now she questions her faith and purpose for her life. Then she experiences a deep shadow of doubts and feeling the absence of God in what she terms the deepest shadow of her soul. She fears the loss of her creativity but she also fears being a burden on her sisters. This is the dilemma she faces.

It is a very thoughtful book, which packs a lot to think about in such few pages. I have no idea how I manage to have this in my collection ~~ but I am glad to have it. It's a keeper especially since it is written beautifully and it does ask tough questions of faith that we all need to ask every once in awhile.


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