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In the Company of Women: Indirect Aggression Among Women: Why We Hurt Each Other and How to Stop [Paperback]

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Item Number 445000  
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Item Specifications...

Pages   337
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 0.9" Width: 6" Height: 9"
Weight:   0.82 lbs.
Binding  Softcover
Release Date   May 26, 2003
Publisher   Tarcher
Age  18
ISBN  1585422231  
EAN  9781585422234  

Availability  0 units.

Item Description...
Explains how women can tap the influence and energy of other women to achieve success in the business world by putting aside common workplace behaviors and petty attitudes that only serve to sabotage and hurt.

Publishers Description

"In the Company of Women" explains how indirect, or "relational," aggression can hurt women and hinder them from achieving success and harmony in their adult lives. Gender studies have shown that when a goal is in sight, men generally use direct action to attain it. Women, on the other hand, have been socialized to express aggressive actions through indirect means-using behavior such as shunning, stigmatizing, and

With startling insights into the meaning of our everyday behavior, this book offers straightforward techniques to change conflict among women into cooperation by resolving discords peaceably, building relationships, and making the most of women's unique leadership and communication skills.

Buy In the Company of Women: Indirect Aggression Among Women: Why We Hurt Each Other and How to Stop by Pat Heim, Susan Murphy & Susan K. Golant from our Christian Books store - isbn: 9781585422234 & 1585422231

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More About Pat Heim, Susan Murphy & Susan K. Golant

Register your artisan biography and upload your photo! Pat Heim, Ph.D., is an internationally known speaker and consultant. Her Los Angeles firm, Heim & Associates, has been providing services in the areas of leadership, communication, team building, and gender differences to hundreds of organizations, including AT&T, the Los Angeles Times, General Motors, the American Medical Association, and Price Waterhouse. She has a Ph.D. in communication from the University of Colorado.
Susan Murphy, Ph.D., MBA, is the president of Energy Engineering, Inc. Heim and Murphy speak about workplace gender issues to more than 50,000 individuals each year."

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Reviews - What do our customers think?
Advocates appeasement to irrationality  Oct 26, 2008
I am sorely disappointed by this book. Instead of addressing the root cause of women who traditionally cannot stand having other women succeed and get ahead, this book promotes appeasement to that irrationality. It is really a collection of tactics to maneuver around bad situations caused by women who get difficult around members of the same sex who are more powerful, more confident, or more successful.

But that's not how it should be. If a woman gets a well-deserved promotion and her female coworkers immediately respond by tearing her down, the problem is with those doing the tearing. But this book does not see it that way. It talks about the "Power Dead Even rule" among women as if it's something that cannot be changed, and therefore must be adhered to. The book actually has an example of a very qualified woman getting promoted, causing fury and anger among her female peers, with the solution being the withdrawal of the promotion of the qualified woman. If holding women back from becoming successful and openly proud of their achievements is the way for women to stop hurting each other, I would not want to live in the world that this book promotes. Womankind deserves more credit than that.

I had picked up this book after reading and being profoundly impressed by "Hard Ball for Women" by Pat Heim, one of the authors for this book. In "Hard Ball for Women", the cultural baggage that women have that hold themselves back is broken down chapter by chapter. Great examples and explanations shed light into the conventional roles of a woman and the changes in perspective she needs to take on to become competitive in her career. In some sense, "Hard Ball for Women" is almost a rebuttal to "In the Company of Women". I do not understand how the same author could have penned both. This book is a let down.
A mix of good advice and poor excuses  May 26, 2008
This book did have some useful information about the sociocultural reasons behind women's sabotage of one another in the workplace. Much of this information could also be applied outside the workplace. However, I would have liked to see something about how an atypical woman -- one who hasn't been overly socialized to the feminine role -- can deal with those women who are more typically acculturated. I am thankfully now self-employed, but I had problems with other women in past workplaces that I didn't understand. I often experienced them acting cold toward me or getting mad "for nothing." One thing I found really strange was being accused of "not caring about my job" because I chose to keep a level head instead of take it personally when the content of my work was criticized.

Now, to criticize the content of this book, I thought the authors cut inexcusable behavior way too much slack. Yes, there probably is an unwritten "power-dead-even" rule, but acting like a four-year-old and telling lies about someone to the boss, or having an "I'm not going to be your friend anymore!" type of attitude just because someone gets a promotion, is nothing more than immature. If I were managing employees, destructive gossip and bullying would definitely be grounds for discipline, if not termination. It's these kinds of conflicts that make me happy to be a freelance writer!
Interesting reading  Sep 18, 2007
This book was pretty good. The first part validated what I pretty much figured out for myself the hard way. At least with the knowledge you get from this book that this type of behavior and attitude is universal among women everywhere and is "normal," you can deal with it more constructively or let it go more easily instead of dwelling on it. I did enjoy reading the first part of the book - probably 3/4 of the book was helpful because it validates what you know or can sense about what is going on around you, and that is empowering and reassuring. The guidance given in this book for dealing with other women is somewhat like remembering difficult algorithms though. And, unless you can convince every other woman you ever deal with to read the book and follow precisely the "rules" you have to follow in order to have perfect harmony among the women in your life, you still have to just use your gut instinct on how to deal with each particular woman or...well, you already know what will happen or you wouldn't be interested in reading this type of book! To be honest, I started reading the last part of the book (which directly relates to being in a supervisory position) and just couldn't read any more.
Wishing everyone (men and women) would read this!  May 8, 2007
I have struggled my entire life in relationships with women. This book opened my eyes.
Interesting theories, apply as you will  Feb 4, 2007
This is a thought-provoking book, and I recommend it for any woman, whether you work in an office or not. It says much about the conflicts that arise between us, the reasons behind them, and some solutions on how to handle them.

One of my favorite chapters was "Handling Conflicts With Style." I recently covered conflict styles in a college freshman seminar course, and I appreciated how they were expanded in this chapter. There are some interesting paragraphs on ow to handle sabotage and deliberate distractions, two things I have experienced firsthand and was poor at resonding to.

There are many wonderful suggestions in the chapter "How To Be An Effective Female Leader." Several aspects of leadership are discussed, and skills are suggested in detail, to balance the troubles many female leaders experience.

There are some parts of the book, however, that I do no agree with.

Although the Power Dead-Even Rule is absolutely true in every respect, it does little to solve the problem that I have with power-hungry, conrolling women in my work environment. Honestly, why should I care what gets a co-worker to turn against me? Of course, having some knowledge of the root of the problem is extremely beneficial at maintaining some sort of balance. At the end of the day, however, I am able to put my head on the pillow and fall asleep based simply on the advice I received from a dear friend:

It's not my business what other people think of me.

This may sound like foolish advice at first, but you know what? It's TRUE.

And the advice to use gossip as a tool is WAY off the mark. I have been able to maintain my position at my job for many years based on a principle that I believe deeply in - that gossip does NOTHING to improve anyone's character. You want to build trust among your coworkers? Don't gossip!! Find something else in common to discuss.

I'm a little irritated at the excuses given for indirect aggression - you know what? A person's personal issues should be worked out before or after work, there's no excuse for a bitch.

Downplaying your achievements is good to keep in mind. But ultimately, you really should be yourself, not a puppet. My point is, when you apply what you gain from this book, don't forget what you have learned before.

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